The Price of Fame...

Oh how I love Madonna...Watching YouTube videos of her from the early days when she performed in and around New York City, wanting people to want to listen to her and buy her records. She had style, she had drive, she had moxy...whatever that means. The girl had the whole "package" and even though she was not a huge star at the time, she would perform her best for 10 people like there were 10,000. That's why I love her. When I finished watching her eye-catching performance at the Roxy circa 1982, I thought of another incredible performer who was the same age as Madonna and who has been in the publications very heavily lately. Michael Jackson. Michael had all the raw talent to be a superstar and expressed that ability at a very early age. From all reports, he grew up with a very demanding father who expected him to be perfect at each and every performance. Would Michael have been as big as he was without his father's abuse and thirst for fame? Eventually...maybe. I'm sure we would have heard about him later in his life instead of at 12 with his brothers singing "Who's loving you?" on Ed Sullivan. You see, in my eyes Madonna and Michael Jackson are in my top 5 of the best performers of the 20th century. And both of them had very hard and lonely childhoods. Madonna lost her mother at the age of 5 to cancer. Michael was abused, both physically and emotionally. They both wanted love and affection from some source to make up for what they were lacking at home. And here they are. They got what they wanted. Love, adoration, admiration...fame. Fame? In the scheme of live and love, where does fame come in? And does it fill that void? Why did Michael have to take pain killers to get through the day? Why did he self-medicate to breathe? As his death now has been ruled a homicide, I have to ask myself if he ever had that "void" filled before he died? Could millions of fans fill it? Could billions of dollars fill the emptiness that he had? When I decided that Nashville and all its hype was what I wanted, I didn't really get into it because I wanted to be famous. I just wanted to make a living off of my music and touch and reach others and maybe make a difference. Maybe that why I haven't quite reached that yet. I wasn't willing to risk all...including my life for money and super-stardom. Madonna was...and I hope that I don't see her next on the E! news channel wrapped up in some blanket, being carried off in a stretcher like Marilyn Monroe. Or like Anna-Nicole Smith. Or like Michael Jackson...I may not be rich or famous but how much do I have to pay out for the price of fame? Could I every afford it? And why would I ever want to...